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Ever found yourself grappling with hurt feelings, unsure of how to respond? TikTok has birthed a trending philosophy known as the “let them” theory, boasting 30 million views under the hashtag #letthemtheory. Podcast host and motivational speaker Mel Robbins is the mastermind behind this empowering concept and its blowing up on TikTok
TikTok’s “Let-them” theory
Rather than reacting defensively to others’ actions, the “let them” theory advocates a radical approach: simply let them be. Whether it’s friends excluding you, a significant other contemplating a breakup, or a company facing layoffs, Robbins encourages individuals to relinquish the need for control and personalization.
@melrobbins Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode ♬ original sound – Mel Robbins
Rediscover control through releases
The primary goal isn’t altering outcomes beyond your influence. Instead, it’s liberating yourself from the shackles of expectations, anxiety, and resentment that can weigh heavily on your mental health. In her TikTok video, Robbins stresses the significance of embracing peace and genuine control by allowing others the freedom to be themselves.
Self discovery
Robbins emphasizes that by practicing the “let them” philosophy, people reveal their true selves. This revelation enables individuals to make informed decisions about what aligns with their values and aspirations.
@smoothyoki_ I love you twin❤️ | Shoutout @Mel Robbins for this amazing concept#staystoic#letthem#stoicism#yoki ♬ New Home – Frozen Silence
Balancing the “let them” mindset
While mental health experts commend the strategy, they also caution about overlooking important nuances. Catherine Del Toro, a mental health counselor, points out that relinquishing control is valuable but reminds us to recognize our role in outcomes. Detaching oneself from the struggle for control can foster empowerment.
Psychologist Stephanie Sarkis underscores the importance of allowing oneself to feel emotions even while adopting a “let them” mentality. Acceptance of others doesn’t erase the hurt, and it’s crucial to process feelings rather than suppressing them.
Establish boundaries
Certain situations necessitate more than just saying “let them.” Del Toro advises that in cases of abuse or disrespect, seeking appropriate help and setting boundaries are crucial steps. The “let them” theory coexists with the importance of protecting oneself in challenging circumstances.
While adopting the “let them” mindset, communication remains key. Clearly expressing needs and intentions to others ensures a mutual understanding. Setting boundaries is equally important, especially in situations where personal safety is at stake.
@michellezoltan thank you @Mel Robbins for changing my life. Best thing ive ever incorporated. #letthemtheory #cartalk ♬ original sound – michelle
Practice for the better
TikTok’s “let them” theory offers profound insights into relationships and unveils areas where unnecessary control is exerted. Implementing this philosophy provides not only empowerment but also a fresh perspective on navigating various life situations. As we embrace the “let them” mentality, we embark on a journey of self-discovery, understanding, and a renewed sense of control.
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